Worst Airtravel Moments

In theory I like to fly. I certainly have no aversion to the act of riding in a large aluminum object as it hurtles through the air at high rates of speed. The drawback is the hurrying, the waiting, the dragging, the breath holding (for a number of reasons), and the repetition of the preceding. Then again, the alternative is countless hours behind the wheel – which can be good or bad.

Here are my least favorite moments in air travel:


Putting your bag on the scale and just hoping the scale reads 50.0 or less. In a pinch, I would totally consider debating a ticket agent about the accuracy of their scale and when it was last calibrated. Of course it’s not going to work, but it might make me feel better, you never know.

Putting your carry-on items on the conveyor and hoping you didn’t leave a sharp object or other contra-band in there from a previous trip…and that your liquids are < or = to 3.4 ounces (because 3.5 would pose a grave danger to everyone involved, no really, who came up with that number?).

Seeing ATL or ORD on your itinerary – that’s Atlanta’s Hartfield-Jackson International and O’Hare International – because it almost guarantees you’re going to get hung up somewhere for some amount of time (and when you’re going to and/or from a small regional airport that can spell disaster with a very limited number of flights).

Arriving in a major airport to find that your connecting gate is 4 terminals away and you’ve got 15 minutes. Remedy? Stop and get some Starbucks, because either your departing flight has been delayed and you’ve got time or you’ve already missed it and now you have lots of time. Venti House, no room, thank you.

When a fellow traveler sits down next to you in the terminal (or worse on the plane) and shortly exhibits that they are suffering from either a cold or pneumonia. Sweet, my wife likes it when I bring her gifts. Here you go, honey, a week of hacking up a lung.

When the flight attendant uses the term "Deplane". If you're not familiar with that term let me define it. It means "to get off an airplane." Now if it's used after you arrive where you're going it's a good thing. But when you hear it shortly after boarding that's bad. It means something is wrong - such as the bathroom is not working or the engine fell off - and you're not going anywhere anytime soon.


There you have it. Hopefully you can enjoy one or more of these wonderful experiences on your next trip. If you’re really looking for some fun, book a trip on one of the major holiday travel dates…through Chicago and Atlanta to Tri-Cities, Tennessee and drag everything you own with you. For the record, I have nothing against either Chicago or Atlanta, my track record for getting through their airports without delays just isn't very good.