Saying Goodbye

The last 16 days since my April 3rd post have been a whirlwind that included a 9 day jaunt to Panama City Beach, Florida. CIY partnered with Southeast Christian Church to create a unique spring break event. Things went well. The weather was good...a couple of days. The trip home Saturday took a mere 15 hours and 58 minutes (about 30 less than the trip down on Good Friday). When I got home that night I was exhausted.

As I was sitting at home Monday afternoon catching up on TV I'd missed while I was gone I got the call that my aunt had less than 24 hours to live (see April 3rd post). Sensing that if I wanted to see her before she died I needed to make the drive to Tulsa I headed that way. What I found was a difficult scene. Her condition had deteriorated to the point that while she was breathing I would scarcely say she was alive. She could no longer respond, though the nurses said that she could still hear us and could sense when people were close to her.

Over the next couple of hours, several other family members gathered there at her house to say goodbye and console one another. Around 6pm as I was standing on the back porch chatting with her son, Darin (who is grown, married, and has 3 daughters) about OSU athletics (anything to divert us for a few minutes) someone stepped to the door and summoned Darin. I followed, realizing she was either gone or would be soon.

Everyone involved realized that she was far better off leaving this world and going home to be with the Lord. But...the pain and loss we feel in her abscence is still tremendous. The hardest part was watching those who were closest to my aunt - her husband, her son, her mother, her 2 sisters, and her 2 older granddaughters - deal with the reality that they had known for some time was likely.

In that moment, in the way only a child can do, Darin's youngest daughter (Taylor, who is 4), came in and having no real comprehension of what was happening asked her mom (Renee), "Is Ma (which is what she's always called her grandmother) all better now?" Renee responded that she was. I heard Taylor also ask, "Is Ma going to be with God now?" Again, Renee told her she was. I'm not sure why or how, but for me those two innocent questions were a ray of light in a tough moment.

Monday, April 16, 2007 will certainly be remembered in history because of the tragedy that occurred at Virginia Tech - as well it should be - but for my family it will go down as a day we lost someone we loved very much to a disease (cancer) that effects so many.

To my knowledge all of my remaining relatives are fairly healthy at this point, so God willing I don't plan to write anymore posts about the loss of a family member at any point in the foreseeable future. Thanks for indulging me on this one.